Run Forest, Run.

I started the May 2015 round of the 12wbt today, and i have to say I'm feeling really positive about my success this time around. My head is in the right place, I'm prepared and with each round I seem to just get better. The excuses aren't even there any more. I feel accountable and strong and ready to get everything I can from the experience. The overwhelming feeling I have is confidence. I think years of failure had decimated the sense of faith I had in my ability to be able to do this. But a year and 5 months on, almost 40kgs gone, the one thing I have learned is that as long as I keep at it, all ups and downs aside, the overall trend on the scales will be down.

I no longer have this expectation that I will lose the crazy numbers I see on the TV shows. Currently I average out to 600gms lost a week. But reality is that usually i lose a bit, then i stall for a while, sometimes I gain, but then have a couple of big losses.

I wish someone had have told me years ago that weight loss is erratic and different for everyone. That years of dieting would completely screw up my body's responses to food. That just listening to my hunger signals would be enough, isn't actually enough because years of dieting physically changes your brains response to food and hunger. That eating cleanly and filling up on the right foods would get me there. And to get blood tests to check every vitamin, because I would have caught the B12 deficiency sooner and that the sense of exhaustion i felt after working out for a couple of weeks wasn't actually normal and sucking it up wasn't going to help.

It has taken some pretty drastic measures to get to where I am today, but I have no regrets. My life is so much better now.  I feel like I'm finally finding the confidence I need to do all the things I have put off for so many years. I even got up at Karaoke the other night in front of a room full of strangers and had them all singing along! I can only go from strength to strength here, and that is truly exciting.

And one final thing, I LOVE running. I remember about 10 years ago a trainer at a gym tried to get me to run, and my response was "I don't run". I want to go back and shake that girl and say "just let go and try". Today during my workout, I was supposed to power walk for a while, but it was a beautiful day, a great song on my exercise playlist, and I just sprinted as fast as I could for as long as I could, and it felt GLORIOUS! I can't stress enough how good it felt to feel so strong, so energetic, so free. I ran because I could, because for a really long time I couldn't, and now I can, and I never ever want to lose this feeling of "I can do anything".

Some friends hanging about nearby.